Depression? “Just Get Over It”
January 16, 2012How many times have we heard this from a well-meaning friend?
“Just get over it.”
“Think positive, happy thoughts.”
“You have cried, now you are finished, so now you are better.”
“You have a great life.”
“Do you know how much better you have it than other people?”
“You just like being sick.”
Yes, those of us suffering with depression have heard it all.
What these well-meaning people do not realize is – we do know all of that! Do they think we are happy living this way? It would be so much easier if we could “Just get over it”. How many times a day do we go over why we should be happy? How many blessings we truly have? How there could be no possible reason for us to suffer from depression?
It is actually amazing how many different definitions there are for depression. There is the economic state and the actual Depression of the 1930′s. There is the depression related to weather and that related to geology. I actually found no less than 10 different meanings for the word depression.
Most people can easily determine the difference. However, there are two general forms of depression commonly confused with each other. One is the act of feeling depressed because something did not go our way, or something is making us temporarily sad or frustrated. Like a favorite football team losing their game, or a friend moving away, or even a job loss. Yes, this type of depression is acceptable for saying, “Just get over it”
The depression I am talking about is so much more than that. You can compare it to a migraine in that unless you suffer with one you do not understand the immense, blinding pain. Both of these are treated so lightly. Yet it is this “light” attitude that makes things more difficult for the person suffering.
You would never treat someone with something obvious – like a broken leg or arm or, God-forbid, cancer that way. You would never tell them “Just get over it.”
“If you know someone who’s depressed please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation, depression just is, like the weather.
Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest and best things you will ever do.” – Stephen Fry
Yes, as Fry says, “It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed…”, but it is just as hard, if not more so, to be depressed and have no one who cares to listen, to help, to just be there. Leaving a depressed person alone or ignored, telling them to “get over it”; these things leave that person feeling so unwanted, unneeded and even more insecure. This is more damaging than you can imagine. I have heard it said that people are scared to encounter the depressed person. They are afraid of what they might see. This could be why Fry states, “It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed…” Nevertheless, your fear is nothing compared to the loneliness that the depressed person feels and it is never a good thing to let a depressed person feel alone and unwanted.
